Image result for glotoven
Cover for Glotoven

We live in an era where collab tapes are not a surprise anymore. They’ve been happening for a minute with Unfinished Business (ew), Collision CourseWatch The Throne, etc. But now they’re coming out almost every month and they’re losing they’re air of coolness. I remember back in 2011 when Watch The Throne dropped and I thought it was the tightest shit ever. Two of the dopest rappers ever coming together for 16 tracks?? Like, wow dude i’m still surprised we got that. Jay and Ye were just at their apex on every single track. But now since all niggas care about is streams and whatever they’re putting out collab tapes because they both have a hype around them and the tapes suck. Obviously not all of them: Fetti is incredible, Mih-Ty was great, 2009 too. But Glotoven? Glotoven is ass.

Man, it’s not even funny how bad this album is. These beats obviously weren’t made for Keef man. It’s like Zay sent him an email filled with Gucci and Future’s throwaways and Keef picked out some. They don’t suit him at all and it shows. Keef sounds so bored on these beats. Like, my favorite Keef song is Kay Kay. If you listen to how good he sounds on that song and how he and the beat co-exist and blend with each other and then listen to Glotoven you’ll be like what the fuck?

The second half of this album is not that bad though. Second half in this instance means every song after Spy Kid. I mean Han Han sucks, but every other song is good. It feels like Zay and Keef were actually in the studio together and not trying to put together a hype project. I’m trying not to be a full blown hater. These tracks are pretty good though. A dim ass light in an other wise dark ass tunnel.

If only the raps could be as good as the cover art is. Wow look at that. I was kind of excited for this album because of the cover art. Plus like who would expect two great artists to make a pile of garbage? Fuck man.

Bro on Han Han Keef goes: “I’m slippin’, you trippin’, blam blam, him him, han han” ( he repeats “han han” about eight million more times for some fucking reason.) Man fuck this album. I don’t care. I haven’t been this bored listening to an album since Scorpion.